What to say about myself – I could tell you about how when I was a child, I wanted my name to be “Penny”. Or how I was pretty sure, when I was eight, that I wanted to be a marine biologist, but only because I really thought my aunt’s college room-mate was HOT, and she was a marine biology major. I could tell you about how I invented a girl group in the sixth grade that was going to tour with New Kids on the Block, and attempted to write music (it was really terrible) – and how I practiced my grammy award speech in the shower every night for a month.
My daughter narrowly avoided being named Penny. I still don’t know that I know what a marine biologist does. I practice my acceptance speech nightly (except now, it’s for the Nobel peace prize). I discovered much better music than NKOTB (praise the lord).
I bust out maniac dancing when no one is watching, talk to my dog Apple like she has at least an eighth grade education, throw dishes when I get angry, and I cry regularly (but not in front of people). I have neurotic cleaning habits. I expect perfection from my family, who I believe are quite fortunate to have emerged from my womb more perfect than anyone on the planet (and will be even luckier to survive my weird, random, neurotic, dysfunctional, over-bearing attempts to be better than my own parents).
What you will see as you read the things that come out of my brain and spill out of my fingers is that I am often sarcastic and irreverent. This is not the place to be if you are easily offended…because it’s kind of a given that I will offend you, at some point. I strive to be politically correct, but sometimes – I just can’t be. Most of the time it’s obvious that I was raised in a small town, and I prefer the nonsense to stay in the big city…and the hell away from me. If you let me, I’ll shoo it away from you, too.
In addition to being a mom (primary job), I am a social worker – I actually CHOSE this profession, and am learning to love being chronically under-employed. I am going to change the world – I have known this since I was small. Probably when I was wanting my name to be Penny, and considering the logistics of how I would come to be Daisy Duke’s successor on Dukes of Hazzard. At any rate, my life has a good deal of entertainment value – it is rich with human interaction – and these interactions are often funny. At least they are to me.
I learned a long time ago that we just have to laugh about things.
So, I’m here to help you laugh about things, too. Your kid hates you? Laugh about it. Your job sucks? Laugh about it. You feel like killing the grocery checker/gas station attendant/preschool teacher/Orkin man? LAUGH about it.
What other choice do you have?
So…if you can’t laugh at yourself, if you can’t find a way to make those “human relations gone terribly wrong” scenarios funny – come see me. Because most of what you will find in my blog will be an attempt at humor in the face of heartache, anger, disappointment…I’m a parent, and I encounter the above at least a handful of times a day. And unless I want it to kill me – I have to reframe it. Yeah, my kids think I suck. I think it’s funny. Because if I didn’t think it was funny – it would break my heart.
And tomorrow, they’ll like me again. And tonight – I’ll practice my parent of the year acceptance speech in the shower. Just so it will be handy when they call me up.
Welcome, friends.
Kathryn's Still Talking's Blog 