Dear Fisher,
Enclosed please find two dollars and fifty cents in change. Due to budget cutbacks, and a stalemate in all corners of government that control any spending that is beneficial to the population, you will note that the normal tooth fairy reimbursal for front teeth has declined since you lost your OTHER front tooth.
You’re just going to have to tighten your belt, son. Buck up! It’s the American dream we’re living here.
And remember to brush, because by the time they figure out this universal health care thing, your mom is still not going to be able to buy you dentures.
Because she’ll be buying her own.
Fondly,
The tooth fairy.
P.S. Take my advice: Invest in something from Texas.
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